My Story

My story and how it led me to Reiki

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My story is long, so I will sum things up as briefly as I can while still conveying the anguish that led to the discovery of Reiki. While still lengthy, I ask that you engage in this story. This is to emphasize that no matter how much trauma we suffer or how long; we can improve life for the better through Reiki.

I entered this lifetime unplanned… I can be whimsical like that... SURPRISE Mom, Dad, and Sister…I’m on my way! Unexpected or not, my parents and sister Susan adored me. As many unplanned children are adored. My arrival was more than stressful for all of us, as we know birth in and of itself, is difficult for the child and the mother.  Well, I arrived with pneumonia and almost died. This frightening experience for my parents and sister increased their love and appreciation for my survival. I felt every bit of their love deeply.

Before I get into this in more depth, I will start by sharing that between the ages of 5 and 11 yrs old, I lost 11 family members to untimely deaths. Aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. For the sake of a novel I'm focusing solely on the prominent influences.

Dad was a potato and sod farmer with his brothers, carrying on their parents’ legacy. This was not a small farm it was over 600 acres.  I was with him often, after all, I was his Babygirl. Playing, working and experiencing life on a farm is a rare opportunity that many children don’t have, and I wish more could share in this rarity. Dad was loved and respected by family and the community for his honesty, values and integrity.  He was a good man that was willing to lend a hand to anyone who needed help. Being born into that lifestyle taught me so much about hard work, devotion, & patience. I still long for those days.  

When I wasn’t with Dad, I was with Mom and my sister.

Mom, stayed home as many women did back then. She taught me the essentials of cooking, cleaning, shopping and being a housewife as it were. She had a big, beautiful vegetable garden and flower beds all around the yard. I would help her dig, weed and pick vegetables. Mom was a beauty, she only wore a little makeup, mostly lipstick and a little eyebrow pencil. She would put curlers in her hair at night and sleep with them. Watching her the next day unravel those rollers then pull a brush through those locks, had me in awe at the transformation and what could be done with hair. She could go from digging in the dirt to turning heads. What I consider to be a wholesome, well-rounded woman.

Sister was in school during the day. She and I would do fun adventures together after school, riding her minibike through the farm fields one of which was called “Out East” (hence one of the reasons for the business name), she would teach me to do cartwheels, she would take me by the hands and swing me around in circles, she called it “airplane”( I’ve yet to see a plane fly in tight small circles as the action portrayed,  but it was her thing and she was sticking to it, who was I to argue).  She taught me to swim. She would take me out with her friends, we would jump in piles of raked leaves, clean them up and then carve pumpkins. She was so much fun……………. I idolized my big sister.

The winters were filled with snowmobile adventures. It was an activity that brought us all together as a family since Dad was not in the fields during the winter months, allowing him to spend more time with us.

 I didn’t have that life for long, only a fleeting 9 years, then Dad died.

He died from a massive heart attack doing what he loved; where he loved it, he passed in a field on a hill. Mom was left with two daughters 12 years apart. I was 9 and sister Susan was 21. Life as we knew it completely changed for us in the blink of an eye.  Mom and sister were not doing well after dad’s loss. Poor decisions, anger, depression, jealousy all manifested.

Two years later, Mom was killed in an automobile accident by a drunk driver leaving sister and me alone, sister 23, and me barely 11. Life got lonely, sad and unrecognizable to what I had previously known. No more affection, no more safety, no trust in the future, no guidance.  I lived and existed the best I could, I didn’t have a choice, I went through the mundane acts of moving forward without processing the emotions.

My sister was able to start a family of her own, of which I was a part for many years. However, we soon began to encounter our own challenges, leading me to leave and embark on my own journey at the age of 16. During this transition, dear friends provided shelter and support, aiding and guiding me into this new phase of life.

As a very young adult, 18 yrs old, I began to experience a lot of agitation. After a doctor’s visit, informing them of some symptoms and emotions, I was briefly educated about what anxiety was and that it was caused by stress. I was prescribed some meds that I took for a short time, it took the edge off for a while.

I’m now 20 years, almost the age my sister was when she became my guardian after the loss of both mom and dad. I received the devastating news that the sister I idolized was sick, diagnosed with cancer. After being estranged for several years, I reached out and supported her and her family as best I could. She was gone within months.  In 10 years, I lost my entire immediate family.  

Concurrently, I had reconnected with a man that I had met years earlier. I was in love; it was a jovial time mixed with the tremendous loss of my last family member. Such opposing feelings to have at the same time.

The panic attacks, depression, started again, but it didn’t feel the same as previously. I had no idea what was happening to me. The fear was unbearable.  I decided to reach out for counseling. Initially, I refused to acknowledge that these past experiences contributed to these strange unfamiliar psychological burdens I was experiencing. I was aware that this was my life, I survived the losses, so I had to simply move forward. It couldn’t possibly be related. I was incredibly naïve that my past could possibly affect me with such complexity. My body was forcing me to recognize that there was an unresolved issue that needed my attention!

That special man in my life asked me to marry him. We married and went on to have two beautiful boys.

 Unfortunately, this family too, didn’t stand the test of time nor the complexity of how our past lives create who we become. We were two different people with different ways of handling our stress and our younger years were extremely paradoxical. Even, if necessary, divorce led to more loss, not by death this time, but by estrangement, leading to more anguish, more frustration, self-blame, feelings of worthlessness and the sense of the inability to be loved or understood by many in my life. I was scared and overwhelmed with responsibilities of being a single mother, attempting to balance work and keep up with necessities plus be there for my children. Flying by the seat of my pants, I was functioning, but I was not living. There was no time to really live or to enjoy life. I worked 7 days a week most of the time just to keep a roof over our heads. I needed love, emotional support, and safety.

 2006 brought me to an inspirational lady that introduced me to Reiki. She taught me so much about the metaphysical world. I had already developed an interest since the loss of mom and dad, I delved into it as much as I could with the resources I had back in the 70’s. This modality of Reiki was new to me and led me to being attuned to Reiki. I in turn went back to school for massage therapy and of course that led to more knowledge and interest of the musculoskeletal, nervous system and Asian theory which consisted of working with meridians, chakras and energy.

Following my “attunement”, I experienced a significant awakening. My thought processes became clearer, leading to a long-awaited sense of peace. This initial sense of peace expanded over time, ultimately helping me to make substantial changes in my life for the better. It was as if a light switch was flipped illuminating life in a different perspective. Reiki has sincerely brought more peace into my life and changed my perspective and approach to my past and current challenges. Reiki is by no means a healing practice that someone does TO YOU by turning chakras on and moving energy from one place to another.  It’s what you are willing to heal within yourself by learning to quiet the mind allowing the the body to then release the tension, pain and trauma it holds, that is when healing becomes the biproduct of Reiki. You can achieve this with the guidance of a practitioner that holds space, in a trusting and empathetic environment. It takes practice and an open mind but in time you experience a transformation in your nervous system which in turn brings more peace and wisdom into your daily life.